Music 05; Don’t Touch My Junk (2010)

💯% Real Don’t Touch My Junk (2010)
 Music from Michael Adams
Don’t Touch My Junk (2010) –
Music Video by Michael Adams
About this Song
♦️ This song exposes the aggressive, obscene pat-down procedures now being used by the TSA on air travelers. The song is based on real dialog from traveler John Tyner who secretly recorded his conversation with TSA officials who tried to perform an “aggressive pat down” on him. He tells them, “Don’t touch my junk, or I’ll have you arrested.”
Song Credits
♦️ Lyrics and lead vocals by Mike Adams.
♦️ All songs and music videos copyright © 2025 by Mike Adams, all rights reserved. These songs are unique compositions consisting of original lyrics and the composition and arrangement of numerous audio clips..
📋 Lyrics
🔷 I went to the airport
To catch my flight
The TSA put me in the
Naked body scanner line
I don’t want radiation
So I opted out (opt out!)
But when they grabbed my man junk
I couldn’t help myself I had to shout,
I had to shout, I had to get my message out, I said
🔷 Don’t touch my junk
Don’t touch my junk
I’ll have you arrested
If you touch my junk
Don’t touch my junk
This ain’t your lovely lady lump
I don’t want to be molested
So don’t touch my junk
🔷 So I went back
Wearing a Scottish kilt
I popped three Viagra
To make sure my stuff would not wilt
🔷 When it came my turn
For that nasty pat down
They thought I had a weapon
So they made me pull it out
🔷 Don’t touch my junk
Don’t touch my junk
I’ll have you arrested
If you touch my junk
Don’t touch my junk
Let go of my hump my hump my hump
I don’t want to be molested
So don’t touch my junk
🔷 Now who put these morons with a badge in charge, and gave them the right to molest us in the name of security?
🔷 Don’t touch my junk (can’t touch this)
Don’t touch my junk (can’t touch this)
They X-rayed my bags and then
They patted down my elephant trunk
🔷 They went up my shorts
They went down my pants
This ain’t romance
No it’s the TSA hustle
They felt me up
While they put me down
They squeezed my butt
In that TSA hustle
🔷 This is happening in the land of the free? Alex Jones was right! I’m gonna smuggle a copy of the Bill of Rights next to my body, so when they reach down there they get a hand full of Fourth Amendment.
🔷 Lordy Lordy I declare
Big Brother’s in my underwear
Fly to London, fly to France
Big Sis checkin’ out my underpants
🔷 They went up my shorts (can’t touch this)
They went down my pants (can’t touch this)
This ain’t romance
No it’s the TSA hustle
They felt me up
Like they were my personal physician
Put your hands in the air
In the surrender position
🔷 This ain’t security
And this ain’t sex
It’s some other kind of tyranny
And now you’re next
🔷 It’s time to stop these
Big Brother Nazi thugs
Next time you fly just tell ’em
Don’t touch my junk
🔷 The Bill of Rights, baby.
Don’t Touch My Junk the TSA Hustle Song [Duration 2:43]
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